What I Learned

A year ago when I celebrated my birthday with my colleagues during a work meeting in France, my close colleague asked me what I learned over the past year. It was a well-timed question as I had learned a lot in the year leading up to that, but I was a little surprised as I had never answered such question before. After some thinking, I shared with her and eventually our whole dinner table my answer, which led to a great, deep conversation with a few colleagues. I am now taking some time to think how I would answer this question this year (even though my birthday was more than a month ago). There is a lot I have learned, but my most important lessons came in five areas:

1. Pursue what your heart desires: Life is short and it’s too beautiful to pass on things that we desire. I took some pretty bold steps last year and I do not regret any of them. I am glad I did what I did. I traveled around Italy, I spent late spring in Colorado, I lived as a semi-nomad with my stuff in storage for half of the year, I moved across the country, I spent time with family when we all needed to be together, I pursued outdoor life I love, I found an anchor to focus on during Covid-19. I learned that pursuing what I love doesn’t mean being selfish, as I had sometimes feared. Pursuing what I love means living authentically, it brings the best in me, it allows me to give my full heart to others because I am satisfied with myself, and it often inspires others. 
2. Exercise: I always knew it, but I have been reminded of this many times over the past year – exercise is key to my mental health. I have noticed that if I don’t do anything physical for a few days, it impacts my mood. I get easily irritated, for no reason really, I get anxious or sad, I am simply not at my best mentally without exercise. Of course, there are many physical benefits associated with exercise, but I have learned how important exercise is for my mental health. It doesn’t matter what it is, running, hiking, skiing, at home work-out, whatever it might be, I need it in my life and need to find time for it consistently. 
3. Set boundaries and draw the line: Knowing and learning my needs and my boundaries has been a journey. And it continues. I have set boundaries and ‘drew the line’ on several occasions over the past year. It was not easy and several times it was plain painful. It did not come without losses. But as difficult as some of this was, being clear on what I need and being firm in sticking to it was empowering and I have found a lot of support from others in that process, more than I had expected.
4. Reach out for help and be there for others: I am often hesitant to ask for help. Maybe it’s my pride, maybe it’s fear of showing weakness, maybe I don’t want to bother others. Last year, I asked for help more than before. I reached out to people when I needed it and I opened up more. And I have realized that I not only received help, but it also made my experiences richer and more meaningful, as I allowed more people closer in my life. I also tried to be there for others when they needed it. And do so without judgment or any expectation of return and with an open heart. It were those moments of connecting with an open heart and sometimes simply quietly being there for someone that I won’t forget. 
5. Grow every day: I have become very aware of my need for growth. Whether it is professionally or personally, I need to feel that I am growing. That I am learning and improving. In things big or small, growth is what drives me and brings contentment. The moment I feel I am not growing, I get restless, become anxious or irritable, and begin to question things. It has been a big learning to realize that growth is more important to me than a lot of other things that we are often expected to value. 

I don’t always reflect on these things, but it’s good to pause sometimes and assess if you are doing what you like, if you are living in line with your values, and if you are progressing towards your goals. In our busy lives and in the uncertain times we are living in right now, it is often easy to get sucked into the frantic chaos of ‘now’ and ‘urgent’ or paralyzed by fear and uncertainty. I definitely suffer from all of those. But looking back, pausing, and reflecting on how to best live in line with your values and desires and how to be the best person you can be is a worthwhile exercise no matter the busyness, no matter the challenge of the present circumstances.